Asleep at last

Tiny Memoir #6

by Donna Dibb

Her tired face finally relaxes into rest after a watchful few hours - in reality it’s days - of scanning the room for perceived signs of danger, a feeling of being watched, fearing judgement from an unseen source.

Psychosis rearing its head again, I see it approach and I’m utterly powerless to stop it.

It takes its course.

So severe to witness this time, it almost broke me. The crisis team arrived to support us. “She’s on her knees” I heard him say to the paramedics.

He wasn’t wrong.

Here I sit, again. The stark lights of A&E, the shouting and rushing, it’s the worst place to be but we have no choice. She’s not safe, there are no emergency beds free, so we wait. My hand soothing Mum’s until sleep gathers her in.

My bag, always packed and ready, contains my sketch book and pencil.

As I draw I feel a gentle hand on my shoulder, a nurse has stopped by to look. “You’ve captured her perfectly,” she says so softly.

That’s when the tears came.

Donna is a 56 year old only child. Happily married with 2 grown up sons, who are yet to flee the nest, she had a change of career as she approached her 50s, after a number of life experiences including breast cancer led her away from her graphic design role and into counselling. She has a small private practice and supports her clients both online and in person (see www.donnadibbcounselling.co.uk). Donna has rediscovered her love of creativity including drawing and writing and now thoroughly embraces her creative soul.

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